Editor, The Smithfield Times:

I’m writing to get an opinion if this situation sounds abusive.

My friend isn’t allowed to visit her family or friends anymore, with the only contact allowed being by phone or computer. Her husband reads and censors everything she posts on social media too. She is made to feel like she’s going crazy when she thinks that he’s being controlling of her, but he tells her he’s only doing it because he cares.

My friend isn’t allowed to go to the gym anymore, so she stopped going and gained weight. Her husband told her to only rely on him for everything unless it’s an absolute necessity to go out, and if she does, he makes her feel guilty and shames her for going.

Her husband now insists that she have a medical procedure and told her that if she has it done, she will be allowed to do more on her own, with more freedom.

We’ve had long conversations about this, but he tells her he’s only doing it because he cares, and doing it for her own good. I’ve tried and tried to get her to see that this is abusive, controlling and destructive. Wouldn’t you agree?

Oh wait, did I say it was her husband? I’m sorry, I meant to say it’s the government.

You’re outraged when you see a person being treated and controlled that way by their spouse, yet passively submissive when you are dictated to by someone in the local or state government. Being passive is what abusers prey on, and then it keeps getting worse.

 

David R. Lyons

Chesapeake